frame 1.png

GRIEVING THROUGH MUSIC

Loss and grief are inevitable parts of life and all over the world throughout time people have used music at times of loss to come to terms with their losses, grieve, remember and heal.

 

Grief through music appears in some of humanity’s earliest stories, such as Orpheus in Greek myth or David’s laments in the Bible, and continues to this day.

In popular culture, examples include Sufjan Steven’s Carrie and Lowell or Nick Cave’s Skeleton Tree, which explore a very personal grief, not to mention Elton John's Candle in the Wind which provided solace for millions on the death of Princess Diana.  

frame 1.png

Orpheus plays such beautiful music that he almost manages to bring his departed wife back from the dead

frame 1_ light grey.png
"Music is one of the most powerful tools we have in times of loss"

In classical music, we find the requiem while folk music gives us innumerable tales of death and grief. Meanwhile, there are countless traditional practices from around the world including, to name but a few, the weeping songs of Yolngu Australian Aboriginals, Shi’a laments and Shona mbira spirit ceremonies.

HOW CAN MUSIC HELP YOU GRIEVE?

frame 1.png

Nick Cave's Skeleton Key was recorded after Nick's son tragically passed away

Grief can often unleash scary, unknown and uncontrollable emotions. It can leave you feeling out of control or lost at sea.

Music can access our deepest emotions. It can help us discover these emotions, experience fully and accept them. Music creates a legitimate space to grieve especially when words may be impossible and it can also allow you to connect and feel with others in grief. Giving such space to our emotions allows us to process them and eventually tame what’s initially overwhelming.

But more than that, you can use music to navigate grief, and to consciously influence, channel and give direction to your raw emotions. Music can help you to create your story, define your relationship to grief and even turn your grief into something beautiful.

Music speaks simultaneously to both body and mind. It somehow sits on the border between what we can articulate and what we can only feel. We can speak of how we feel and tell our stories, but putting those stories into the right music makes the meaning and emotions resonate right through us.

 

Music also lets us remember. Through listening to or playing meaningful music, it can allow you to connect to the indelible part in you that a loved one leaves in you and allows that part to live on though music.

 

frame 1.png

Funerals of the Yolgnu people from Northern Australia involve a journey through song which leads the spirit to their resting place in the  landscape.

Read more...

Music speaks to the soul, or to our subconscious and to our bodily experience. Music can give us a window to that other side of ourselves. It can even help us discover ourselves, grow as people and become stronger through grief, little consolation as that may be.

Music is one of the most powerful tools we have in times of loss and many traditional practices and modern forms of art implicitly know this. Music is, however, a tool that we can all “rediscover” and use to help us navigate grief and grieve well.

IN WHAT WAYS CAN MUSIC HELP?

Music is not some miracle quick fix. You might have heard people talking about grief “work” and music is no different: it requires time, effort and active engagement. You will, however, find many ideas on this website to help you explore how communities, individuals and artists have used music to help them in times of grief. Hopefully, this can help you discover your own way to use music. In the meantime, here are some of the basic ways music can help:

frame 1_ textured grey_edited.png

Feel fully

Music can help you feel an emotion fully and feeling fully is often said to be a key factor in grieving well

frame 1.png

Discovering hidden feelings

Writing or listening to music that we’re drawn to can help us discover suppressed emotions

frame 1_ light grey.png

 Directing emotions

Music can influence our emotional state. We can use it to direct raw emotion in a certain direction

frame 1.png

Giving yourself 

a break

Music can also give you a break from grief and help take you to another place for some time

frame 1_ textured grey_edited.png

Saying goodbye

Music has been forever used to mark rites of passage, including the final one helping us accept and say goodbye

frame 1.png

Remembering

We can remember people through music we shared with them or music that helps us to connect with them in their absence

frame 1_ light grey.png

Creating space for grief

Music can be the space where we put our grief, express it and even share it if we so wish. Music can overcome taboos on grief

frame 1_ textured grey_edited.png

Transforming you grief 

This might be the root of all art, the transformation of pain into beauty. For some, this is what makes suffering bearable

frame 1_ light grey.png

Connecting body and mind

We don’t just live in our heads and grief can be a full body experience. Music speaks to the whole body

frame 1.png

Connecting with others

Making music with others can help bring people together in their grief